I believe it’s almost impossible to exist in our society without some insecurities related to food and body. Beauty, thinness, athleticism and control are values deeply imbedded in our culture. Sometimes we can want these ideals so bad that we hurt ourselves trying to achieve it, such as the case with someone who develops an Eating Disorder. 

                    When people who haven’t struggled with an Eating Disorder ask me, “I don’t get it, why don’t they just…eat…stop eating…keep their food down?” I ask them to imagine that they developed a coping skill to feel better and that this way of coping felt really really good, it could numb painful emotions while also making you feel very productive in life. At the same time, others are supporting your coping skill by giving you compliments on your appearance, praise for your control and dedication. The coping skill is really paying off. You are promised that if you continue, it will only get better and it’s the only way to be loved and accepted. If you give up, you’re failing. Then the coping skill takes a turn, it has you feeling depressed, lonely and not good enough. But it still holds the promise that it will all be better if you just keep going. You must continue to be good enough. If you stop, you will be worthless, unlovable and a complete failure. Now ask yourself, “why don’t you give this up?” 

                  Clearly, walking away from an Eating Disorder is not that easy. It’s hard to see how it offers so much but it does. It can offer an identity, a sense of accomplishment, feeling in control, numbed emotions, a way to be good. 

                 One of the first things I do when working with someone struggling with an Eating Disorder (or their family members) is to separate the person from their Eating Disorder. I view it as a separate entity that has come into your life. We explore together when and why it came into your life and what purpose it serves. Maybe it worked for you for a bit or is still working for you in some ways. But in other ways it may not be working. You don’t have to come in ready to give up anything that makes you feel safe.

                I work with clients and their families to create a strong structure of support, more effective communication and stronger relationships in order to achieve full recovery.

 

Contact me today to get started.